My Struggle Lately

Has been mostly with my thoughts and my feelings, things that I think are out of my control. As of late, I have been envious of everyone and everything! I don't know why, I just know that giving into these emotions, allowing myself to think that my life should be about me-- has really brought me much further from God than I should be. I got to the point where I was truly questioning myself, and Him. The Devil is sly, sneaky. It came upon me so fast... Like a strike of lightning. If I were honest with myself, however, I would have to admit that I saw it coming--maybe from a distance, an inkling, if you will. I let myself believe that if I skip a day reading my bible and studying, that it would be okay. I let myself say again and again: Tomorrow, Tomorrow! I feel as if I'm a broken record, singing that song from Annie. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll read tomorrow, studying is a day away!
Also. I have become a tad bit rebellious. I hate that, I do, but I do it anyway. So if anyone happens to read this, please pray that I keep my goal, my desires for God, and don't let any of it slip away.

I'm making a pact to myself, and God. I'll do the very best I can to shine for the Glory of God, to show the world how truly magnificent He truly is. He truly IS. I will study, I will read, and I will do my very best to trust my entire self to God-- I'm stepping off my throne, taking the crown of my life, and laying it at His feet, for He made THE sacrifice.
And I will make it my motto-- I have not made a sacrifice, for to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

John Piper says that battling unbelief and sinful nature is to replace it with superior pleasure. Future Grace, as he calls it. His book states that our faith in the promises God has made to us, and our faith in future grace- replacing our fleshly desires with God-Superior pleasure- will be the key to defeating unbelief.

Pray for me as my eyes continue to open, and as I battle my sin and unbelief with the Superior Pleasure--- God.
Peace. ♥